Friday night

So when we decided to just 'try' for a month or so

and 'see' what happens

you know- let the universe decide.

I mean- sure we are talking about another potenial baby here- but we kept going back and forth and yes and no- so let's just throw caution to the wind and see what happens.

well...

it. happened.

a positive!! I have to be honest- I was in shock- for at least 24 hours. for sure- maybe 48. And then all the silly irrational fears started to pop in my head

I'm too old

4 kids is too many

My youngest son will be mad at me

How will we ever vacation again

Who will babysit

Really? 9 months, again?

Yes- 9 months again. And then- our sweet bundle of joy will be here. And i know all those irrational fears will melt away. And we will forget. And K will love being a big brother and our family of 6 will be perfect.

Will we have our ups and downs along the way? sure. We always do.

how lucky and I?

to have a wonderful loving husband. 3 gorgeous kids. a house over my head. a supportive career. an excited family.

And to have the chance to do it all over again. What would I do different from the 1st time?

That's how I started my 1st journey- by asking other moms-

If you could do it all over again- what would you do different?

Workout- was almost always the answer. Eat right. Sleep more.

What will I do?
- work out for sure- but that's not really different- I will just make a point to continue doing what I have been- I love my gym time.

-I want my husband to be more involved during delivery. We never really had a 'plan' I mean- since everything can go anyway- I was more just going with the flow- and had a fantastic delivery. But this time- I would like us to have more of a plan.

- I won't sweat the small stuff. No crazy decorating a nursery- in fact- the two youngest will be sharing a room for a couple of years. (or until our oldest moves out) So we will do a shared room for them.