Thursday, November 3, 2011

Kick Butt BootCamp

*I will try to refrain from using too bad of language during this post. Therefore (yes I said therefore) if you see an explicative- times it by about a billion- because that's probably the actual word/thoughts going through my mind at that time*

That being said- let's begin.

So my gym began offering a Boot Camp class taught by TrainerB- he's pretty much a badass. So for some reason- a voice inside my head thought that this would be a good idea for me to take this class.

Now I have taken boot camp classes before- I regularly do an insane kickboxing class and step class- both at least once a week. BUT- for some reason I thought I needed more.

I think I should blame The Watch.... pieceofcrapstupidmeanolwatch..... Anywhoo-

I go to said class- and I remember to actually start said Watch. I want to make sure this crap is in the record books- ya know.

The class is held in the basketball courts at our gym- We start the class with 3 laps around.

"easy- I can do this" shhhhh voice in my head- you are sososososososo wrong...... TrainerB didn't hear that did he? Surely not-

or maybe he did- because he gave me a full on butt kicking. And I am talking FULL ON peeps!!!! This was by far the HARDEST class I have EVER taken.

HOLY(^*^%*&^%*&^(&(&)(^)%&^$^%#%$@#$#@%$#$&^V+BALLS

it.was.hard.

squat thrusts- running suicides- walking lunges- forwards and backwards- walking push ups- burpees- walking shoulder raises- walking lunges triceps curls- rotating squats- suicides- shuffling- hop jump over blocks- rotating hop jumps over blocks with push ups in between- jumping lunges with bicep curls-  no stopping ever ever ever- abs abs abs- lay down die.

If you say/ claim that you like any of this stuff- I will kill you now.

Seriously thought I was going to pass out at least twice- throw up- 5-6 times- even went as far as to scope out where the nearest trashcan was. (another girl did the same thing)

There was SO much freaking sweat on the floor at the end of class that they send in the janitors to mop/ sweep/ clean/ disinfect after our beating.

When I leave- I can barely walk. My legs are so mad at me they don't even want to function properly. They are stabbing daggers of pain up my limbs.  If I had to drive a stick shift- I would still be at the gym waiting on a ride home. Probably laying in a pool of sweat in the parking lot.

I get home it's only noon- my legs are still trembling and I am ready to lay down in the bed and just die. I can't even curl up in a ball because it hurts to bad. Sheeze- I can't even get into my bed becasue it's too high off the ground.

The Watch- oh - The Watch is happy. 919 calories burned- holymotherofgod- 919 calories in just 55 minutes. Can I go eat Halloween candy now? noNOno!  ugh!

Anyhow- by 5:00 I couldn't sit on the toilet- I need handicap rails installed int the bathroom STAT.

oh- and Depends.

And it's just my quads that are hurting so bad.

Abs- ok
Arms- ok
Legs- badbadbad

and today- this morning- after no sleep- because no comfort

I.HURT.BAD.

and I am suppose to do this class again tomorrow. OMG- just shoot me now.

I will probably still be walking like I just got off a horse that I have been riding for WEEKS. Wobble into class and just lay down.  It counts for just being there, right?

I will keep you posted- IF I can type. I have a feeling since he killed and chopped up and ate for dinner my poor little legs- he is planning on doing the same thing to my upper body tomorrow. It's possible that I won't even be able to type for days.... I promise- it is possible.

Remind me again who's bright idea this class was? I need someone to blame.

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